What just happened? I'm still blown away at this weekend. Last week I was in training all week and my brain was fried. It was extremely difficult to find quietness last week, the quietness that I desperately needed inside. I picked up the guitar a few times started to get into worship but it just seems that I was hitting a ceiling with so much on my mind, at one point frustration really kicked in. Friday night I hit something, something that I've been hitting a lot lately, it's more than a mental block, it's deeper. It's frustration, "is it really worth it" "I'm preaching about vision but I'm not feeling vision". You see lately it's been extremely diffiicult. I've been concerned about numbers, have felt tremendous odds, have been tired and it's been difficult to dream... Have you ever worked at something with your whole heart and strength but still not see the results of "what could be and should be". It's been like that for a few months, I've had to battle with some frustration, discouragement, and alot of discontent. I've tried to turn it into a challenge and usually I can but even that can become tiring. As Friday night dwindled down I went to bed with a lot of frustration. I prayed and just before I closed my eyes, simply said a few words but I mean it with all of my heart, I said "God, help". Nothing amazing happened, I just went to sleep. Saturday came around I took care of the kids and after had some time to finalize my message. Before I did anything I had to get into worship. My soul was in need and nothing else was going to suffice. So I begin to pray and sing at the same time. This time it was different, because I was determined to press through, I could not afford not to, there was no way I was going to leave that place empty. So I pressed and I pressed and I pressed some more. Saturday afternoon I was ready to go. I was ready to preach. There's something about worship that allows you to see again, see what you know is true in your heart. See God and His plan.
I picked Santz up on Saturday and as we are driving I just felt in my heart "we are due for a move of God" "we are due for one of those services, not the week to week ones but a service that can cary you for some time." So I told Santz "we need a powerful service".
Sunday came...
And so did God... All I can say is that the service felt like a blur. Worship was amazing. As we sang the last song an all too common feeling begin to hit my body. This incredible fatigue begins to hit me almost like felt like can't go up, I can't explain it but it's been happening a lot lately... so I pressed. I pressed until I felt God's strength. The word went out, it was challening and it was inspiring but most of all it was transforming, I felt it transform me before I preached it and as I was preaching it. Several visitors walked in while I was speaking approximately 5 total and as I watch the new people coming in I noticed that they are all different nationalities. Usually we get one or two visitors in a day but here were five new faces, five faces all of different ethnicity. This was just the beginning and as the day unfolded, there was a surreal feeling. It was one of of those services... the type that carries you... the type you get when you press and when you press and you press some more.
But the day was not done. As service ended although phsyically drained spiritually we were filled. The team was getting ready to minister in Manteca, and there was a huge excitement and expectation building. We all drove out there I was the last of the split caravan. As I drove with my family we noticed smoke on the horizon there was a fire right between the highway. Smoke filled the road. We got to Manteca safe and ready. Little did I know how God was going to move, He wan't done with me, He wasn't done with the team, He wasn't done yet... I spoke with Bishop about how God had dealt with me a few days before concerning the recent fire storms in California. Bishop said "that's it" you have to share that. I battled with going up to the point that I felt sick. As worship took off I felt the Lord remind me "what did you see on the way up" ...FIRE. So as the team ministered in song after about the 2nd or third worship song unfolded I challenged the body with what the Lord had showed me. Just as the skies and the land has been changed by the fires of the West coast so the will the land and the atmosphere be changed by the fire of God. When land is burned it's change you know that something has been there and so it is with God. One component is needed though for a fire, something must be ignited. "Are you ready to burn" The night continued Bishop spoke, PDan spoke ... and then it happened. I saw the presence of God fall in such a beautiful way. "we pressed" I saw the Lord shining upon the team and all of them were getting ministered to. Then John begin to play "To Worship You I live" for the second time. I've never seen John like I have seen him that night. A new song began to come out. I yelled out "come on John, take us there, take us there" John knew exactly what I meant. You see I've heard John at 2:00 in the morning when you can't sleep, because life is upon you in a difficult way. I've heard John's song when was spent and all he could do is "press" This is the word that I've gotten in the last 12 hours. "Just press" Bishop said it to me "the people that press are success" What are you going through today, just press. Are you tired "just press" Press in to the presence of God and God will come through, He always does. Something amazing took place yesterday. The Lord used the team in an incredible way to bless Manteca but even as the team gave they were amazingly blessed too. It was one of those days, the kind that carries you, the kind you get when you "just press" We needed yesterday and God always shows up when you need Him the most. Here's a scripture that has been hounding on me. It's a "press scripture" from Nehemiah 6:3 "...I am doing a great work and cannot come down." If your facing great opposition, impossibility, frustration or fatigue... Just press. Press into God's presence, press in to the arms of the Father and allow Him to work.
1 comments:
what a DAY! I just love how God orchestrates the everyday things of life to speak to us. Thank You P. Ant for being obedient and for leading the way by showing me/us how to PRESS!!
Post a Comment